Best Man & Maid of Honor Duties (Responsibilities Checklist)

Being asked to be the best man or maid of honor is more than a title. These roles carry big responsibilities from the moment the engagement is announced to well after the wedding reception ends.

In this article, we’ll break down everything the best man and maid of honor are expected to do before, during, and after the big day.

Pre Wedding Duties

Before the wedding day arrives, there are several tasks that fall on the best man and maid of honor.

1. Help With Wedding Planning Process

This includes handling small jobs, offering opinions, and helping the couple stay on schedule.

• Maid of Honor: Helps the bride with pre wedding tasks like dress shopping, choosing hair and makeup artists, reviewing vendor contracts, and helping organize the to do list. She often attends venue visits, helps finalize guest lists, and gives input on the décor and theme.

• Best Man: Assists the groom in things like choosing suits or tuxedos, confirming measurements for the groomsmen, making travel plans, and keeping track of deadlines. He may help the groom meet with the wedding officiant or coordinate gifts for the other groomsmen.

2. Organize Pre Wedding Parties

They are responsible for some of the most memorable pre wedding events.

• Maid of Honor: Takes charge of the bridal shower and bachelorette party. This includes planning the theme, handling invites, decorations, meals, games, and coordinating with other bridesmaids. She checks in with the bride to keep it fun and relaxed, whether it’s a weekend trip, spa day, or night out.

• Best Man: Plans the bachelor party. He selects the date, works with the groomsmen to plan the trip or event, manages the budget, and makes sure everything runs safely. This could be a weekend getaway, a night out in town, or a low-key gathering, depending on what the groom prefers.

3. Coordinate With the Wedding Planner and Vendors

If there’s a professional planner, the best man and maid of honor help relay information and help with tasks that don’t need the couple’s direct involvement.

• Maid of Honor: She might help finalize the flower delivery schedule or confirm makeup trial appointments. If the bride’s too busy, the maid of honor steps in as her second voice.

• Best Man: He might confirm timelines with the photographer or check with the DJ about the groom’s song preferences. He also helps the groom communicate with vendors when needed.

4. Manage the Rehearsal Dinner

This is a key event right before the wedding.

• Maid of Honor: Attends the rehearsal and helps coordinate the bridesmaids during the run-through. At the dinner, she may give a short toast and makes sure the bride gets a chance to relax with close friends and family members.

• Best Man: Keeps the groomsmen focused during the rehearsal and helps finalize any last-minute wedding duties. He often gives a casual toast at the dinner and checks in with the groom about the schedule for the next day.

During Wedding Duties

The big day is finally here, and both the maid of honor and best man are on full-time duty from early morning prep to late-night wrap-up.

5. Manage the Wedding Party

They help the bride and groom stay focused and ensure everyone else knows where they should be.

• Maid of Honor: Arrives early, helps the bride get into her dress, checks in with makeup and hair stylists, and keeps the other bridesmaids on schedule. She coordinates any photos before the ceremony and handles last-minute outfit issues.

• Best Man: Checks that the groomsmen arrive on time with all their rented attire. He distributes boutonnieres, reminds the groom about important items (like vows or gifts), and leads the group through any photo sessions before the ceremony.

6. Hold the Wedding Rings

This is a simple but equally important job because these rings cannot go missing.

• Maid of Honor: Holds onto the groom’s wedding ring during the ceremony. She may pass it to the officiant or directly to the bride, depending on the plan.

• Best Man: Keeps the bride’s wedding ring safe until it’s time for the exchange. He may also hold both rings if agreed on ahead of time.

7. Providing Emotional Support

There’s a lot of emotion on the big special day. These two help hold it all together.

• Maid of Honor: Offers emotional support for the bride through happy tears, nerves, or stress. She reminds her to eat, stay hydrated, and breathe. She’s the calm voice during any last-minute panic.

• Best Man: Calms the groom’s nerves, shares a laugh or memory, and keeps the energy positive. As his best friend, he checks that the groom has everything and offers quiet support before the ceremony begins.

8. Support During the Ceremony and Reception

They help everything run smoothly once guests arrive.

• Maid of Honor: Fluffs the bride’s train, holds her bouquet during the vows, and stands by for any mid-ceremony issues. After the ceremony, she may help direct guests to reception venues and keep the bride comfortable during photos.

• Best Man: Helps guide guests, organizes the groomsmen, and might help the wedding planner if something unexpected happens. He may also assist with crowd control when guests move from ceremony to reception.

9. Give Speeches and Toasts

This is a memorable part of any reception.

• Maid of Honor: Her speech usually talks about the bride, shares personal stories, and welcomes the groom into her friend’s life. She keeps it heartfelt and personal, and often wraps it with a toast to the couple.

• Best Man: The best man speech often opens the toasts. It usually includes jokes or memories, and a shoutout to the couple’s bond. He gives a toast to the newlyweds and thanks the wedding guests for coming.

Post Wedding Duties

Even when the dancing stops and guests head home, there’s still important responsibilities to be done.

10. Collect Gifts, Décor, and Personal Items

These two help pack things up at the end of the night.

• Maid of Honor: Collects leftover centerpieces, the bride’s bouquet, her shoes or extra dress, and anything forgotten in the bridal suite. She helps ensure everything gets to a safe place or into the car.

• Best Man: Gathers up the groom’s things Like his phone, wallet, jacket, and helps load wedding gifts into the getaway car or another vehicle. He also checks with vendors to confirm nothing is left behind.

11. Return Rentals and Confirm Cleanup

They may handle a few boring but important tasks while the newlyweds are on their honeymoon.

• Maid of Honor: Helps arrange the return of dresses or accessories and checks in with the bride if anything needs to be followed up.

• Best Man: Makes sure rented suits are returned on time, checks for any lost items, and helps follow up with the venue or reception site if cleanup was part of the agreement.

12. Help With Thank You Notes and Follow-Ups

They give the couple space to relax, but also remind them of what still needs to happen.

• Maid of Honor: May help create a list of gifts received and addresses to help the bride send out thank you notes.

• Best Man: Checks in with the groom to see if there are any loose ends to wrap up; like unpaid balances, missing items, or sending final messages to the wedding planner or photographer.

FAQs

1. What Makes the Best Man and Maid of Honor Different From Other Bridesmaids and Groomsmen?

They each have leadership roles. They plan major events like the bachelor party or bridal shower, hold the wedding rings, give speeches, and stay by the couple’s side throughout the entire wedding process.

2. What Is the Original Role of a Best Man?

The original role of a best man comes from old traditions where he was chosen for his strength and loyalty. In some cultures, the best man even helped protect the bride or ensure she arrived safely at the ceremony.

3. What Is the Difference Between a Maid of Honor and a Best Man?

The main difference between a maid of honor and a best man is who they support. The maid of honor helps the bride with planning, the bridal shower, and emotional support. The best man helps the groom with tasks like the bachelor party and suit arrangements.

4. Does a Best Man Pay For Anything?

Yes, the best man usually pays for certain things. He’s expected to cover his own suit or tux rental, contribute to the bachelor party, and possibly chip in for a group gift.